Wednesday, October 27, 2004
I've never been a real big fan of Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching. First off, I don't like having people come over just to "check up on me," especially when they are only doing it because they were told to do it. Second of all, it's not like I'm going to tell someone I hardly know that I'm having a hard time or that I need help. People can't expect to come by once a month for 20 minutes and expect to be my best friend. It doesn't work that way. And most of the time, at least in my experience, I usually only see my VT's or HT's once or twice a year. So it's very unlikely that I'm going to open up and spill my guts to these people. It's just a bother--to have to clean my house and have a shower and keep my kids quiet--just so these people (who I'm sure are very nice) can come by and ease their consciences. It goes the other way around too. I can't imagine too many people are anxiously awaiting my visit, so I can act like we've been best buddies since first grade and pry into their personal affairs. I know, in a perfect world it would work. We'd all really be concerned about one another and be friends with one another and it wouldn't matter if we'd done our visiting teaching or home teaching by the end of the month, because there would never be a deadline or a time limit. We'd all be friends and we'd all love and serve one another without assignment. But we all know we don't live in a perfect world and like it or not, as members of the church, we are going to have VT's and HT's.
So, why am I rambling on about all this? Because. . . . Mark and I have been assigned Tom Steinke as our Home Teacher. And as kind and fun as he is, he has the WORST timing when it comes to visiting our home. I think he's been here four times in the past year--which is REALLY good for our record with HT's. We usually assume we don't have one--since we see them so often. Anyway, in the four times that he's been here I don't think I've ever been showered, my house has never been clean, the kids are always a mess, and I'm usually never doing anything productive at the time. I wonder what he thinks of me.
Visit One scared me to death, seeing as I'd never met the guy before and knew nothing about him. It was February and I was running around the house frantically trying to get myself and my husband and three kids ready for a trip to Kansas to see my parents. The house was a disaster--the dishes were overflowing the sink, toys were strewn everywhere, it was awful. I was in an oversized t-shirt and some leggings (and I'm sure, due to the 20 pounds of baby fat I was still packing around, the leggings were probably obscene). I hadn't had a shower for almost 2 days but I had managed to pull my greasy hair into a ponytail. The kids were eating tomato soup for lunch and none of them had shirts on. Noah and Denver had soup in their hair and all the way down their fronts and all of them looked like they'd been neglected for a week. Anyway, all of the sudden I hear a knock at the door and when I look out the window to see who it could be, I see a police car. Oh great, I think, Child Protective Services. I open the door, my heart's thumping and. . . . there's Tom. Thankfully I recognize him from church and my nerves calm a bit, but I'm absolutely mortified about my appearance and that of my home and my children--so much for first impressions.
Visit Two: It was one of those weeks I was fighting depression and was doing everything I could just to stay afloat. Hunter and I were snuggled up on the couch and were eating beef jerky and crackers while we played Gamecube. I should have been doing the dishes or folding laundry, but I was struggling and just wanted to be with my kids and take things slow. So, who should appear at my door but Brother Steinke, full uniform, freaking me out again. I let him come in and again shrink, embarassed that I'm not doing more with my kids and that my house isn't in tip top shape. He brings us Bostom Market for dinner (which was very kind of him) and off he goes.
Visit Three: Absolutely stunned that for the third time in a row he's shown up unannounced, right when my house is a wreck, Mark saves the day and meets Tom outside. It's warm outside, a nice summer evening so we chat outside for a few minutes and he's on his way again.
And Visit Four, today: Unbelievable. This week has been so busy. My house isn't a total disaster but it's not perfect. The boys and I are sitting on a blanket in the family room, eating chicken nuggets and apples while we watch Cartoon Network. Hunter has just gotten home from school and is having his "downtime" in front of the TV. I spent the morning putting away papers that have been needing to be filed for awhile now and playing with the little boys. Noah and Denver are still in their pajamas, Denver's diaper hanging to his knees. The sink is full of dishes, although they are mostly clean, and the floor needs mopped something fierce. I haven't had a shower yet and am wearing sweats and a baseball cap. And who comes knocking on our door? You guessed it--Tom. How does that happen? Four times in a row! He says, "I just came from Melody's house and she had me laughing so hard my sides hurt." And I'm thinking, Oh, great! Melody's house--her house is never not perfect. And I'm so worried about the condition of my home and kids I can't think of a single funny thing to say. What a nightmare. And I just wonder--what good is any of this doing me? He didn't bring any great, uplifting spiritual thoughts. He didn't bring Boston Market. He didn't offer us any help or ask if we need anything. All I got was totally humiliated.
I won't even start with my VT, since I haven't seen or heard from her in a year and a half now. I just don't get it. Wouldn't it be better if we just had a temple worthiness question like, "Do you do your best to love your "brothers and sisters," both in and out of the church? And are you doing your part to make sure that none of God's children are being left behind?" Isn't that what it's really about? Who cares about the last day of the month? Who cares about the phone call or letter in the mail? Wouldn't it be better to know that you are really loved and missed when you aren't there and that people really do care about you and they don't need an assignment to be there for you? If we all just did our best to love and take care of one another. . . .
P.S. I know Tom Steinke is a very nice man and I am grateful for his efforts to make sure we are all well. He's doing the best he can with what he's got and that is more than I can say for a lot of people I know. He just has really bad timing and how could I ever hold that against him?
posted by Shana # 10:03 PM 
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