Tuesday, February 20, 2007
We've recovered from the chunk-spewing epidemic that recently plagued our humble abode and have moved on nicely to the stuffy-nose-sore-throat-achey-ear-and-coughing-fit disease. Denver filled several buckets with barf Saturday night and by Monday Caleb was prescribed an antibiotic for an ear infection. Hunter is so congested he can no longer speak normally and the poor twins are up all night struggling to eat and breathe all at the same time--not that they were sleeping before but at least they were sleeping some.
 We tried to go sledding this weekend. But unlike the rest of you that got snow, we got a giant sheet of ice and sledding was a very risky endeavor if I say so myself. I should have figured as much when I slipped and fell several times trying to make it up to the school but I guess I was too busy laughing at the boys trying to stay on their own two feet that I missed the red warning flags with "Do not attempt to sled on ice" written all over them. I have no idea how fast we went shooting down the icy knoll but it was frightening and thrilling all in the same breath. Every time I sent one of the boys down the hill solo the movie Ethan Frome went flashing through my head and all I could do was pray that they wouldn't meet the same fate as Ethan did at the end of the movie. Fortunately we all survived although poor Denver did ram his head into a tree and refused to sled again after that.
The weather took a turn towards spring today and I immediately shoved the boys outside into the fresh air. It was a balmy fifty degrees and the sky was clear and bright. Beautiful. Unfortunately there was nothing but a gigantic, half melted sheet of ice to play on and several muddy puddles. Caleb kept slipping and falling into the mess and all of the boys were begging for dry clothes so they could go back outside and play again. I really hate that they do winter break out here. What am I supposed to do with six boys in the dead of winter for a week? Especially when everyone is sick? We can't go sledding. It's too soggy to go to the park. We can't afford a vacation. The museums and arcades are all crammed to capacity (we've waited in line for the Children's Museum before--that's how crowded things get.) It really is dreadful. I feel horrible but I finally hit Blockbuster and rented several movies, hit the grocery store for discounted Valentine's candy and the boys have basically spent the days in front of the television playing Nintendo and watching movies. We're reading The Hobbit which stimulates their brains a bit and they managed to get a bike ride today. But seriously, that's it.
 The "babymoon" has ended around here and I'm terribly bummed. I lost all my twin weight and have started putting it back on again. I'm growing out of all my clothes at a most alarming rate but can't seem to find the time to exercise. I can blog and nurse at the same time. And I can clean and cook and eat with a baby strapped to my chest but I can't exercise with the babies in tow. I've thought about getting up earlier but after being up all night, getting up at the crack of dawn just isn't going to happen. And I could load up the babies in the stroller and strap one to my chest and chase Denver down the street on his bike but just the thought of such an excursion exhausts me. And the only way I ever lose weight is if I exercise and I'm feeling totally incapable. And my hair has started falling out and it finally got so thin and limp that I chopped it all off and while it looks really healthy I feel like a mother and not a sexy young thing and while being a mother is all good and noble, I miss feeling young and healthy and pretty.
The twins are trying to turn their sleep schedules around but the problem is, instead of sleeping more at night and being awake more during the day, they are just being awake all the time. And I'm exhausted and of course, I can't get anything done with three babies attatched to my hips. And Caleb has started noticing that my time is more scattered and as a result has started ramming himself into various pieces of furniture with terrible force and hitting himself and shouting "no" in his best angry voice. And it's become clear that Caleb is finally feeling the affects of no longer being the baby and I am doing a rotten job of meeting his needs for love and attention. And the sad thing is, the two things I said I never wanted to have happen (twins and have so many kids I couldn't meet all of their needs) has happened. And as much as I want to believe that their is a God and that all of this is part of His plan for me and my happiness, the truth of the matter is--reality is giving my faith a good kick in the pants right now and I'm feeling quite unhappy at the moment.
posted by Shana # 6:56 PM 
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