Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I'm supposed to be exercising right now. Or at least folding laundry. I just spent an hour doing my grocery shopping online and I can't seem to get myself up to do anything else. I'm tired. I'm trying to lose weight. I've decided that if I replace my late night binge with an hour of exercise each night I might just lose some weight. I've got about three pairs of pants left that actually fit. You think I'm exaggerating but really I'm not. After being pregnant and nursing for the past eight years of my life I've developed some terrible eating habits. And I've decided I've got to break myself of them now or die. Or go naked because I refuse to buy myself larger pants. It's really quite shocking, seeing myself in the mirror and seeing how robust I've become. Mark and the boys continue to pat me on the back and smile and say how skinny I am but I'm afraid they are lying. Either that or my pants are shrinking and I don't think they could ever shrink that much, even if I washed them in super hot water. . . repeatedly. And I've been content believing the lies until now--now that I don't have anything that fits or looks good on me. It's very depressing. Especially now that I'm in my thirties and my metabolism has supposedly slowed down and that makes losing weight even harder. And even though it's only my second night trying to change my ways, I'm totally in chocolate withdrawal and I really just want to curl up on the couch with a bag of chocolate chips and some popcorn and watch American Idol and drown out the "should be doings" for a little while. It's so hard to resist.
I went with Hunter on a field trip today. We went to see the play "Charlotte's Web." They read the book at school this past fall and with the movie being released just before Christmas, the play was the perfect finale. Everyone that saw that I was going to the show kept staring at me in amazement, like "how did you escape?" And then they'd say something like how nice this little field trip will be for me and am I excited. I guess I always think if I'm going to escape, a trip with sixty second graders on a school bus to see a production of Charlotte's Web in a hot, stuffy theatre isn't exactly what I'd pick for myself. But Hunter was excited to have me (as was the school nurse who wouldn't have to go on the trip with sixty second graders on a bus. . . ) and he's due for a little Mommy time. So we went and by the time I got home my head was pounding. Just imagine sixty second graders screaming "honk, honk, honk, honk" at the top of their lungs as they all stand in their windows trying to signal to the Semi's as they speed by that they want them to honk, honk, honk, honk! And of course, once we got to the theatre and it was dark and quiet, all I wanted to do was sleep. I'm not used to sitting so much during the day and my body definitely thought since I wasn't doing anything productive I should be sleeping. I was definitely struggling to stay awake. But the play was cute and Hunter was happy and what more can we ask for?
With all the lovely weather we've been having I actually have a sunburn. Denver has spent the entire past two days outside in the sun and he's already turning brown. Lucky! We've pulled out almost every outside toy we own and even some toys that don't belong outside. We've filled up the pool and played with the hose and the bubbles and the chalk and visited the park and played and played and played. The house has stayed pretty nice and clean on the inside but cleaning up the outside is exhausting. Oh. . . I'm so tired. And I have so much to do. But no matter how much I try and tell myself to "go, go, go" all I want to do is "eat chocolate and sleep, eat chocolate and sleep, eat chocolate and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."
posted by Shana # 10:41 PM 
|
|
|
