Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Every now and then when I wake up in the morning I accidentally put on my poop colored glasses instead of my rose colored ones. Today was one of those days. The day started out alright. I got everyone to school on time, even dressed up for their 50's celebration in jeans and white shirts and penny loafers. I got the dishwasher started, the laundry flipped and everyone dressed and ready for playgroup with hardly a teardrop. Today we even got to playgroup before it was half over--a major accomplishment for us. Denver had fun riding his bike in the church parking lot with his buddy Matthew and they even found several dead animals to poke at with sticks. I suppose it was going to Walmart that did me in, and it had nothing to do with the kids, believe it or not.
First off, there were no "roller coaster carts" with working buckles. A roller coaster cart as we call it, has two extra seats attatched to it which is great for someone like me. By the time I put two infants and a toddler in the cart I have nowhere to put my stuff and if you want to sell lots of stuff to a person like me, (who needs lots of stuff) you add extra seats to the cart and make shopping for lots of stuff with lots of kids really easy. But no. Not at Walmart. They make shopping not fun at all. But we made do with a regular old cart and headed to the shoe aisle for swim shoes for Hunter.
That's what made me grumpy next. Hunter has a field trip on Thursday to the beach which is all good except he has to have a pair of old tennis shoes or swim shoes to wade in the water with. He can't go barefoot. He can't wear Crocs. He can't wear sandals or flip-flops. Nope. He has to wear old tennis shoes or swim shoes--nothing else will do. And that would be fine if I had an old pair of tennis shoes lying around for Hunter to ruin in the ocean. But I don't. Nor do I have a pair of water shoes in his size. Around these here parts we go barefoot or wear flip-flops or Crocs or sandals or the one dang pair of tennis shoes that belong to us. Since when was school all about appropriate footwear anyway? Why can't they just focus on education and let us parents worry about our children's feet? Gosh! If going to the beach is so dang treacherous for our kids feet maybe they shouldn't go there anymore. I went with Hunter's class to see a play a little while back and they weren't allowed to wear sandals of any kind, in case they might trip. Whoever said tennis shoes are trip-proof? And what's so wrong with sandals? Maybe if they'd get rid of winter recess, they could dismiss school before the onset of summer (instead of halfway through it) and then maybe they wouldn't have to worry so much about all the hazards of open-toed shoes. Sheesh!
So anyway, that was the whole entire reason I had to drag four children to the blasted Walmart in the first place. And did they have swim shoes in Hunter's size? Of course not. Nor did they have any of the important stuff on my list. So I got the few unneccesary items (tic tacs for Denver and suckers for Caleb) and a few boxes of diapers and went to checkout. And do you know what they had there at the end of each checkout lane? A cashier just waiting to ring me up? Nope. A flat screen TV hypnotizing us all with Walmart specials and commercials and a whole bunch of other hullabaloo. They can't fix the darn buckles on the roller coaster carts to make shopping for their customers a little more pleasant. But they can spend thousands of dollars on flat-screen TVs to push their customers to spend even more money. If I'd had a bat in my cart, I would have smashed them all in. But alas, my cart was too full of babies.
On my way out, a Walmart employee had the nerve to stop me and ask for my receipt. I guess a lady with a cart full of children, a baby strapped to her front, a bunch of Walmart bags in her hands and a cart full of diapers and more Walmart bags that she can hardly push because her hands are full of so many other bags (that she can't fit in her cart) looks suspicious to them. Next time I go to Walmart (if there is a next time). . . I'm buying a bat.
As we pulled into the driveway our mail lady pulled over in her mail truck to inform me that she didn't take my letters because postage has gone up to 41 cents and my stamps were only 38 cent stamps. And, she said, "one of your letters would have come back anyway because you addressed it to yourself." On a rose-colored glasses day these things are easy to deal with. Today was not one of those days. What does she mean postage has gone up three cents? When? Is there anything around here that has not gone up in price? And when do we get better services with all these price hikes? I mean, my electric company increased the cost of electricity by 50% this year. It's gone up 10% for the past four years and then I guess they just decided they'd really blast our boots off. So instead of paying $600 a month to cool our 1400 square feet, we're sitting in the hot and humid refusing to turn on the A/C and refusing to pay the Electric Company another cent. Where's the love? And now the USPS wants more money. For what? They won't even deliver my mail in the snow anymore. We can't afford to live here and yet, I can't bear the thought of leaving. And did she just tell me I'm going insane? Did I really address a letter to myself and stick it in the mail? Yes. . . yes I did.
The kids need more attention than I can possibly give them. Caleb is hitting everyone and everything in sight. And if we don't pay him the attention he wants, he bangs his head on the walls and the floors and all the other hard surfaces that can cause him damage. Noah isn't sleeping and he's throwing temper tantrums left and right. I know it's cause he's tired but we can't get him to sleep. I almost had a fence in last week--now it's going to be another three. I have friends who took their families on an excursion instead of coming to the Potato Derby last week--I don't really mind that they didn't come to the Ward Activity, but I hate the fact that they are lying to cover it up--like I don't already know that they all went TOGETHER. Was it a boycott or something!?! And why would they do something like that to me? I guess it's eating at me, mostly cause I hate myself for smiling and playing dumb when they lie right to my face about it. I may be going insane but I'm not stupid. So why do I let them treat me that way?
Justus has a yeast infection on his bottom that is not going away and I'm sick of putting cream on his bottom that isn't helping. I've had a yeast infection before and believe me, it's not pretty. The poor baby has got to be miserable and he's had it for over two weeks now. It just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading. Why can't the doctor just help the poor thing? Afterall, if it was their butt you know they'd be taking the strongest medicine out there and ridding themselves of the stuff as quickly as possible. So why do they make us start with the weakest stuff and work our way up?
And the cherry on top of it all was running into the infamous Miss M and her family at the park. Cause you know, she's got it all under control--her house is clean, her kids are perfect, she makes more money than her husband, all her ex-boyfriends totally want her as well as the entire Elder's Quorum at church, she's the "healthiest fat person in the world" and even on the most humid day of the year her hair and makeup is flawless. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Caleb has poured his entire bowl of cereal on the floor and yes, that's what they all had for dinner--like they'd touch the taco salad I made. All six kids are filthy, from head to toe. My hair is a disaster thanks to the humidity and dragging four kids through Walmart without a roller coaster cart. I have no makeup on and haven't since Sunday. I don't make any money (not a cent), just walking up the stairs leaves me winded and the only man remotely interested in me is Mark and I'm pretty sure it's only cause he promised to love me. . . even when I'm wearing my poop-colored glasses.
posted by Shana # 5:10 PM 
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