Friday, September 14, 2007

Yes. . . I Deleted A Post

For those of you who have been scratching your heads and wondering where my "Woes Me" post went, I deleted it. My sister Chris mentioned a few weeks ago that my posts were all sounding a bit depressing lately and after an hour or so of thinking about it, I decided to delete my post. I'm not depressed. I'm actually better than I've ever been, not to be mistaken with thinner. I'm not thinner than I've ever been. But I'm happy. Really trully. But my life is hardly fun and exciting and fulfilling right now. Every day is just a struggle to stay afloat, to stay on top of things, to keep up with the kids and all the crazy things that they throw at us (or throw up on us for that matter.) And I guess when I blog about it all, I sound depressed. Plus, I don't want to be whiney all the time and I feel like that's all I do lately. So after I removed that post I made cookies with Caleb and Denver and did a lot of thinking and two things made me feel better. First of all, last night the boys and I read chapters 3-5 of Junie B. Jones and the Yucky Blucky Fruitcake, which were particularly hilarious. I'm not sure if listening to all three boys laugh hysterically or the fact that Junie and I have a lot of the same terrible luck but, something about that twenty minutes of reading and laughing with the boys made me feel better.

And then I thought about a conversation my sister and I had a little while back when I was struggling as usual and said something about God hating me. And surprisingly, instead of trying to convince me that God doesn't exsist she said, "No. . . life is just hard." And she has all sorts of reasons to think God hates her but she was right. God doesn't hate us. Life really is just hard. And then I thought, You know what? Maybe instead of feeling helpless and feeling like God is just picking on me, maybe I could try praying and asking that the kids don't all get sick while Mark is away. And maybe I could ask that the days go by fast and that the nights will be peaceful and that my burdens will be made light. And perhaps if I have enough faith, maybe. . . just maybe God will hear me. And somehow just that simple thought was enough to ease my burdens and give me the strength to face a week without my secret weapon. (Of course it helps that Mark read my post before I deleted it and came home with an extra pound of patience and understanding in his pocket but my faith in God helped too.)

So I'm sorry if I confused any of you by deleting a post but I guess this is more like the stuff I want for my kids to read than a daily play-by-play of all their puking and my boo-hooing.

posted by Shana  # 11:25 AM

Comments:
Oh Shana.. I am right there with you. Mike was gone a business trip at the first part of this week and was not due back until late tonight when I get this call Wednesday saying he was flying back in about an hour. Yippee and UGH! was all I could say. I, of course, was not ready. The dishes still in the sink from the last two days and no dinner planned and going for his return. He has had one of the worst weeks ever and it made my job with the four here seem like cake. I have been reading a new book called, Wake Up to a Happier Life by Amanda Dickson. It is an eye opening book to read. It so supports your post today! I would recommend it if you like books like that. As for Junie B. My daugter and older son are so crazy about her books. We read Junie B., First Grader Cheater Pants last night and oh so very funny. Have you read her Boo Halloween one yet? We are going to pick that one up tonight. You are right, Life is hard! Life is not fair! The Lord only promised us it would be worth it! That is what we hold on to around here on those really tough days. Good luck this week! Denise

# posted by Blogger Denise : 12:32 PM

 

Amen! All the Greats in history had those kind of days, weeks, years. The most important part is to come out on top, victorious, which you do...every single day! No one's dead, and you are stronger for it...the coming out victorious part (not the 'no one's dead' part).

Life is hard! I'm imagining it was Chris who said that, because I probably would have attempted to convince you that I am the one God hates, not you. But just remember, he only tests the ones worth testing...there is a greater purpose...you're just under construction at the moment.

# posted by Blogger Kathy : 4:19 PM

 

I'll be in town on Sunday (probably late) through Wednesday morning. Can I take you out for dinner or come play Nintendo Monday or Tuesday night?

# posted by Blogger nathan.stout : 9:53 PM

 

yep. i hear ya sista!

# posted by Blogger jenny : 10:04 AM

 

You sound like you got a bit more sleep for this post. The [deleted] one did let me know that I'm not the only one that feels grumpy, out of sorts and picked upon with insufficient sleep.

I think you do a marvelous job of being a parent. (I want to be like you and Mark when I grow up. ;) ) As I said to the educated legume and as your replacement post indicates you've already remembered. "We love you. Mark loves you. (Okay I told the legume that Marty loves her. I presume that Marty loves you too, but he hasn't undertaken the lives long journey with you that Mark has.) Your Heavenly Father and older Brother love you." That doesn't always make things easier. It does mean that if you need us we are here to help whether its a should to cry on, a hug, patience or someone to read a Junie B. Jones book to/with that you need.

# posted by Blogger Paul : 3:06 PM

 

I hear ya Shana! For a while life seemed really bleak for me, but now things are even more busy, but life is good! HARD, busy, messy and everything, but good!

PLUS I know I've said this a billion times already, but we love Junie B too. When I told Mimi the book you were reading, she said "We have that one!" Right now we're reading Junie B is a Sneaky Peaky Spyer.

# posted by Blogger B : 10:38 PM

 

Leave it to good ol' Junie B. to help you buck up! I'm glad she and Chris pulled through for you. Keep looking up, Shana. Being a mom is the hardest job on the planet, (not to mention x6) but it is also the most important job of the planet. You are doing an awesome job!

# posted by Blogger Ree : 10:50 PM

 

I am just amazed at how much you do, and all the great things you do for your kids and your family. Keep up the good work, enjoy the good stuff and forget the bad stuff!

# posted by Blogger Princess Gerty : 2:16 AM

 

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