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Hunter had his neurology and endocrinology clinics today. I have been dreading this day for weeks now. I’ve always felt like diabetes clinic is “mommy report card” day and I hate it! I’ve been especially worried because his diabetes has been completely out of control for the past couple of months.

Things went much better than I had expected. Neurology clinic was uneventful as usual. They are planning on doing another EEG in 3 months and will consider taking him off the Tegretol in another 6 months or so. They may wait until next summer, while he’s out of school. But, that is promising. We still have to have his Tegretol levels drawn which is an ordeal, since it takes 4 of us to hold him down, but it’s no biggee.

Endocrinology clinic turned out to be a good visit and because we were late arriving (due to a long wait at Neurology) we were the last ones there and got lots of time with the head nurse. Hunter is still on the pump, which isn’t what I expected to happen, since I was determined to go back to shots. But, we’ve all come to the conclusion that the problem isn’t neglect on my part and it isn’t a problem with the pump. We think it is an absorption problem since his blood sugar for the past two days has been perfect and the only thing that changed is where I put his infusion set. His A1C was the same as last time, which totally shocked me and gave me a great deal of relief. So, we are going to try a new infusion set–you just jab it into the skin and off you go–no more complicated contraptions or big needles. Instead of a tube that goes under his skin it has a very tiny needle that sticks in his skin and stays there for 3 days. I’m wearing one right now and other than a tiny pinch every now and then, I don’t even notice it’s there. Hunter hasn’t complained either. And, it is something I can do while he hugs me around the neck–no more kicking me in the face! We also found out that we should be bolusing him BEFORE meals, which will be an adjustment, but should help lower his sugars. And some exciting news. . . next month we will get the glucometer that attatches to and communicates with his pump. So, we’ll check his blood and the reading will be sent straight to the pump. Then all we do is put in his carbs and off he goes. Wonderful! And apparently, there is a new contraption, called the Navigator, that inserts under the skin and monitors blood glucose every minute for three days. It has to be moved around like his infusion site, but means no more finger pokes or low blood sugar episodes. It’s being tested by the FDA right now but is something to look forward to. And then, once they figure out how to make that communicate with the pump–well. . .things will just get easier and easier.

Anyway, it is such a relief to have that over with and renews my committment to make this work, as challenging as it is sometimes. Now if we can just figure out how to deal with his anger issues–we’ll be good to go!

My homepage on the internet is MSN.com. Occasionally, I stop and read an article or two before I blog. Today I saw an article on Job Burnout and thought I’d read it, since I’ve been feeling a little burned out myself lately. According to the article I am definitely suffering from job burnout. Unfortunately, it didn’t offer any great solutions. Anyway, here are a few early-warning signs that you might be suffering from job burnout:

1. chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down

2. anger at those making demands

3. self-criticism for putting up with the demands

4. cynicism, negativity, and irritability

5. a sense of being besieged

6. exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things

7. frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbances

8. weight loss or gain

9. sleeplessness and depression

10. shortness of breath

11. suspiciousness

12. feelings of helplessness

13. increased degree of risk taking

The article then goes on to say, “Fight burnout. Do what you were designed to do.” It recommends taking a Job Assessment test if you are feeling burned out. Hmmmm. Would that help? According to the church, I’m doing exactly what I was designed to do. And, it’s not like I can quit and switch jobs. I wonder what that person would suggest for someone like me.

Anyway. . .Hunter got sent home from preschool today. He was shouting at Miss Melody, fighting and disobeying. Typical behavior lately. Yesterday he was kicked out of his Primary class and I caught him in the hall shouting at poor Dee Whitaker. I love Hunter but this craziness is wearing me out. We’ve tried everything we know of–taking away priviledges, spanking, time out, logic and reasoning. Nothing works. When he gets in one of his moods, if I told him not to spit, he’d look me right in the eye and spit in my face. It’s very frustrating.

Then there’s his pump. Do we stick with it or go back to shots? I really hate making decisions that affect other people’s lives–especially decisions that affect how long a person will live and how healthy they will be during their lifetime. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been a mother before. A first child is just plain hard enough. Add to that diabetes, seizure disorder and behavioral issues–what do I do? I know his A1C is going to be at least a 9 (maybe higher) this clinic. And I’ve been chasing him and his pump like crazy trying to figure out what’s going on with him. It’s too much work for absolutely no results. The school prefers the pump. Yale says the pump is better. I think shots are the way to go. I guess we’ll battle it out on Wednesday.

All I know is, something’s gotta change.

And to make matters worse, I’m a little off myself and struggling to figure out what my problem is–hormones, PMS, depression, burnout? I don’t know. Right now it’s just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and my glass is looking half empty and I’m not sure the sun is gonna come out tomorrow, or anytime soon for that matter. This week’s forecast is rain and thunderstorms till Saturday. Go figure. Looks like I get the weather to go with the mood. Bahumbug!

Today is Mark’s birthday. Happy Birthday Daddy! He successfully blew out all 32 of his candles and gracefully turned another year older. We spent this weekend driving to Palmyra, NY to see the “Hill Cumorah Pageant”. A total of about 12 hours–there and back. The kids did pretty great considering the long drive and a fun time was had by all. This year Hunter could hardly wait to receive his free poster so he could have the cast sign it. He finally got so tired of waiting for the performers to come to him that he started chasing them down and asking for the necessary pamphlet that enabled him to get his poster. When he finally got it, he took off like a madman, asking performer after performer to sign his poster. It took him almost two hours, but the entire back of his poster is crammed full of signatures including Joseph Smith, Lucy Mack Smith, Moroni, Mormon, King Noah, Abinidi, lots of Lamanite Warrior Dancers, Nephi, Laman, Lemuel, their wives, a bunch of Nephite children from the Christ scene and more. Hunter was very proud of himself and almost everyone commented on how many autographs he had collected. As we were walking to the bathroom, right as we passed a couple sitting on a bench, he said, “Everytime I show this to someone they say. . .” He paused for a minute while he casually showed his poster to the couple on the bench who saw it and exclaimed, “AWESOME!” Then, he continued saying, “. . . that or something like that.” It was pretty fun.

All three of the kids loved the show, including Denver who especially enjoyed the fire scenes. During the destruction scene he almost hyperventilated trying to blow out all of the flames on the stage. I’m certain this is going to be something we end up doing every year because the kids love it so much. Noah shocked me on Saturday morning before we left for Pageant with how much he remembered from last year. He was laying in bed with us and when Denver woke up, Noah said, “Denver! Today we get to go see Jesus! When we go to Pageant and you see a white man in the sky who looks like Heavenly Father, that’s Jesus!” It really is a great mini vacation and I’m getting excited for the boys to get a little bigger so we can actually be in the Pageant. I imagine, for the boys, that trip will be even better than going to Disneyland.

For now, they are all sound asleep, exhausted from the weekend. Mark’s busy receiving his birthday calls and I’m anxious to get back to my book–”The Five People You Meet in Heaven” by Mitch Alboom. I haven’t read a book for myself in so long. Thanks to Kathy (who recommended the book) and the long ride in the car, I’m almost through with it. (And I just started it today.) Hurray! So here’s to sleeping children and good books and great vacations and happy birthdays!

After the terrible tragedy with our Robin’s eggs (and the slimey bullfrog tadpole incident), I’m excited to inform you all that we have successfully hatched a moth. Yes! It’s true. About two months ago Hunter and his buddy, Jarrett McCurdy found a little, bright green caterpillar inching its way along a leaf. They captured it and for the past 8 weeks that mason jar has sat on our kitchen table. Every couple of days, Hunter would faithfully run outside and clip some leaves for the hungry little caterpillar. About 2 weeks later, all of Hunter’s work had paid off and our little caterpillar had transformed into a very FAT caterpillar. Then overnight, it seemed our new friend had disappeared. I knew he couldn’t have gone far and after a few minutes of searching we found our fat little friend wrapped up in a cocoon hidden in a bunch of leaves. Several weeks went by and everyone thought for sure he had died. I must admit, I was tired of having that mason jar full of leaves sitting on my kitchen table and finally, after 6 weeks of waiting decided it must be dead and was ready to throw it away. But, I figured if it was just going in the trash, I might as well unwrap the little cocoon and see what we had left. To my surprise a pupa fell out of the leaves and was very much alive. A little research on the internet told us in a few more weeks we’d have a moth or a butterfly, so we decided to hang onto the shiny brown cocoon (and the mason jar full of leaves.)

After two more weeks of waiting, I was about to throw the cocoon away, again. It seemed like nothing was happening. Turns out, I’m just a very impatient person. This morning I went to examine the pupa (which has become a daily ritual) and I couldn’t believe it! The pupa was beginning to open! I continued to check it throughout the morning and after awhile I noticed that it looked empty. Hunter was watching me and heard me when I said, “It looks empty. But if it’s empty, where’s the moth? He’s gotta be in here.” Hunter shrugged his shoulders and began walking away and simply stated, “It’s on the top.” Sure enough, our baby moth was born and waiting patiently on the top to be set free.

So, I took it outside to take a picture and let the kids get a closer look. Hunter and Denver came running outside, but Noah stayed inside. He’s a little nervous about bugs. Anyway, the slamming of the door startled our little ugly moth and he took to flight. But did he fly away, into the great wide open? No. He flew right into the house, right straight for Noah. Noah screamed a blood-curdling scream and ran and hid himself. I searched and searched for the moth but couldn’t find him. I convinced Noah it was safe to come into the kitchen and eat lunch. A few minutes later, as he climbed down from the table, he bumped the trash can, which sent the moth flying out of his hiding place and straight into Noah’s face! Another scream and off he ran, taking with him the tiny bit of trust he had left in me. I scooped up the terrified moth and sent him off in the right direction. Then I gathered up the even more traumatized Noah and tried to quiet him down, which was no easy task. He is still traumatized–probably will be for the rest of his life. Hunter found a caterpillar on Friday and when I asked Noah if he needed the jar so we could turn it into a moth, Noah shouted, “No” and ran for dear life. Poor Noah! I guess we won’t be hatching anymore moths–at least not for a long while. But hey! At least we succeeded this time!

Today was Hunter’s first swimming lesson. I was so worried about him running off and not following directions my stomach was in knots. Let’s just say, Hunter has been having a difficult time lately and obedience is not his best quality. I let him go despite my concerns and I am so glad I did. For $5 we get 6 swimming lessons at Lake Mohegan. There was about one teacher to every two kids–not bad if I say so myself. They took them out into the water and started them off by tricking them into getting all wet. They took their life-saving body board (I don’t know what it’s really called) with them and had all of the kids splash water on it to “wash it.” Then they had them splash water on their own tummies and on their heads. After they were all wet, they had them grab handfuls of sand/mud from the bottom of the lake and pile it up on the “boogie board” and wash it off again. Once the warm up exercises were done, they had them float on the their tummies and backs. I was so surprised at how excited and cooperative Hunter was. When everyone had had their turn, they put all five kids onto the body board and had them kick together. As they moved down the lane, the instructors/life guards pretended they were being chased and teased the kids into trying to tag them. They then had each of the kids try and touch a golf ball at the bottom of the lake, trying to encourage them to put their faces in the water I’m sure. Hunter was in “Hunter Heaven.” He must have thought the instructors were pretty awesome, and I thought so too. They even took time to ask him about his medicAlert bracelet and told him it was “cool.” When I asked him if he was excited to go next week he said “yes!” and spent the rest of the afternoon, trying to have conversations with his instructors (who were now busy lifeguarding) and working on his back floats. He even felt brave enough after one swimming lesson, to stick his entire head under the water. We stayed at the lake for about 3 and 1/2 hours and all of us turned a little bit pink. But the sun and water felt so nice compared to the stuffy air at home and it felt good to forget about the never-ending list of chores I have nagging me to be done. We made some pretty cool milk-carton paddle boats to take with us to the lake–an activity we found at the Discovery Museum. I’ll post the directions later, if anyone’s looking for a fun, simple activity for the swimming pool or even the bathtub. Until then, hope you all get to enjoy some of your own fun in the sun! And for all of you bargain shoppers–Old Navy has all of their patriotic clothing on sale, thus the matching swim trunks and tank tops!

Today we did some creating. I love cardboard boxes, especially really big cardboard boxes. Thanks to Kathy, I got my hands on a great big cardboard box and I couldn’t wait to get started. One of Noah’s favorite stories is “Hansel and Gretel” except we call it the “Candy House Story” and there is no Hansel and Gretel–just Noah and Hunter. Anyway, Noah loves the part about the candy house and when I saw that big empty cardboard box I knew right away what we were going to make. So, I put the kids in their swimsuits and handed them each a paint brush and we painted that box brown. I cut out windows and a door and put together a roof. The boys decorated the inside with colored tempra paints. I painted some white trim and we left it to dry while the boys ate lunch and Denver had a nap. Then, when Kathy arrived, we added the candy to the house with sparkly fabric paint leftover from our Father’s Day gift. It is so cool! We ruined a bunch of clothes in the process (so if you do it at home, do it naked–hummmm!?) but it was such a fun project and beat watching t.v. any day. So, if you come across any big cardboard boxes, whatever you do. . . don’t throw them away!

Today we went to the Discovery Museum and Planetarium in Bridgeport with Chris and Ben. It was a fun little excursion, thanks to a very empty museum and lots of fun things to do. We were just about to leave when I overheard someone talking about the Planetarium show for kids and I sent Mark to find out how much it cost. Lucky for us, it was free and we decided to stay just a little bit longer so the kids could see the stars. It was a very short show but the kids loved it (especially Hunter) and we’re glad we stayed. Then the boys had naps and we took FHE to Kathy’s house. Back to work tomorrow–darn!

Today was quite a day! It started off with Shane and Diana Hopkins (Mark’s sister and brother-in-law) announcing the birth of their baby boy, Sam. What a great way to start off the day. You can see the little darlin’ here. Good work, Shane and Diana, and congratulations!

Then it was off to church. For singing time, I decided to play American Idol with the Senior Primary. We’ve been learning “Home Can Be A Heaven on Earth” for the past couple of weeks and I’ve promised them for every 4 weeks of practicing, they get 1 week of fun. So, I was inspired to play American Idol and kill two birds with one stone–practicing the song and having fun. I had three guest judges sit up front (Kathy, Melody Hoggan and Adrianna Smith) and had the kids form groups of 2-4 kids. Then, they named their group and wrote it down on a card. I used the card to select who would go first, second, third and so forth. Then, group by group they came up front and performed their song. . .you guessed it, Hymn #298. After each performance, the judges critiqued them and gave them a score between 1 and 5. It was so fun. I told the kids they could use the hymnbooks if they needed to but that they should beware that it could lower their scores. About a month ago I challenged all of the children to memorize the song (all three verses) and if they did, they would receive a full-size candy bar. A few of the kids had already earned their candy bars and were all set to perform. Others, the few that don’t bother to pay attention to me (ever!) had no idea what to do and their scores reflected their neglect. All of the kids loved it, as well as the adults, and hopefully the kids will think twice about ignoring me during singing time, because we will be playing American Idol again.

After church I had a line of kids waiting to pass off the hymn. I take them in a room and have them sing or say all three verses by themselves, no help. I am amazed at how many of the kids are accepting the challenge and succeeding. Hunter showed up in the line and I thought for sure he wasn’t going to make it. I even warned him before he started that if he didn’t do all three verses he’d have to come back and try again later. We’ve been working really hard on the hymn but I wasn’t convinced he had verse three completely memorized. Well. . . he proved me completely wrong and I was so proud I thought I was going to burst! It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, seeing my little boy stand in front of me, trying so hard to pull the words from his brain and grinning from ear to ear the closer he got to winning that candy bar. Well done, Hunter! You definitely earned every bite of those Reses Peanut Butter Cups!

We celebrated our freedom by watching fireworks on Jennings Beach. Chris and Cliff, Nate and Devanie, Melanie and Jorge, Kathy and us Henrichsen’s camped out on the beach around 6:30pm. We ate dinner and watched the kids run around in the sand and roasted marshmallows on our indoor smores maker. The fireworks were amazing until they disappeared behind a giant cloud of smoke and then we were laughing so hard, it didn’t matter anyway. Then we made the long trek back to our cars and are ready to crash for the night. We forgot our camera but I’m sure Kathy and Devanie will both have pictures on their blogs, so don’t forget to visit their web pages before you sign off!

Thanks to God for the gifts of Free Agency and Freedom and to the soldiers who fight to preserve them!

Today we spent the afternoon at the Brown’s home, eating and chatting. The boys jumped on the trampoline and several small children caught fish. Mark took the boys for a spin in the “tippy canoe” and even spotted two turtles sunning themselves on a rock. We had to hurry home around 5:30pm to receive Hunter’s new insulin pump, but stopped by Brooks Pharmacy on the way to pick up some Root Beer Float Mike and Ike’s. Yummy!

What’s with Hunter’s pump? Wednesday night something happened to the LCD screen and we could no longer read anything on the menu. So, we had them overnight a new pump but it didn’t arrive on Friday like it was supposed to. Now, we were lucky because the pump was still delivering his basal rate but, we couldn’t bolus him or change his site which made things a little challenging. We know how to give him regular injections to cover his meals and amazingly enough, his blood glucose was better when I was giving him injections than when the pump does it. But, Saturday morning we could tell his site had expired and that meant no more basal rates. So, Mark called Deltec and they drop shipped a pump to us. Pretty crazy–it’s almost like buying a plane ticket for a package. But it got here by 8:30 pm and just in time too. Mark did some tricks with the new pump, some software and an infared sensor on the computer and we plugged in the new pump just as he fell asleep. Shroo!

Today we went to Lake Mohegan with our friends, the McCurdy’s. We spent about two hours there, swimming in the lake and digging in the sand and running through the sprinkler park. When we got home, the boys and I sat up in our treehouse and ate popsicles. I pushed the boys in the swing for a little while, then threw them in the bath and into bed for naps. When Mark got home from work we went for a walk down to the CVS pharmacy and got each of the boys a sucker and ourselves a workout. On our way home the lightening bugs were blinking everywhere, so we sat out in the backyard, chasing bugs and swinging in the hammock. I don’t know what it is about lightening bugs, but there is something magical about them–they’re like little twinkly stars you can catch in your hands or Christmas lights floating through the air. They are so wonderful.

Once the mosquitos started biting, we ran inside and got the boys ready for bed. Hunter and I finished reading “Danny, Champion of the World.” It is such a great book. I absolutely loved reading it, esecially when the past three books I’ve read to him have been “Boxcar Children” books. “Danny” was very entertaining and easy to read. At the end there is a message to the child who has finished reading the book and I think we can all benefit from what Roald Dahl has to say.

“When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important. A stodgy parent is no fun at all! What a child wants-and DESERVES-is a parent who is SPARKY!”

So. . .what do you think? Are you a sparky parent or a stodgy one? If you said “stodgy” maybe you should try reading “Danny, Champion of the World” and find out what it takes to be sparky. Danny’s daddy has it all figured out. As for me–I suppose my sparkiness depends on the day, but I think today was a pretty sparky one.